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Love never fails. But we often fail love… Love is an action word. A verb. Love is sometimes uncomfortable, uneasy, and yet it is unyielding. I can recall moments where love was demonstrated to me beyond my own madness and mess. And I can recall moments where I had to demonstrate love despite the melee. This is why you must have a well of love in your life. A well that stores a fresh supply of love, even when you have to dig deep & hard to get it.
Sometimes relationships are hard. No matter what type they are. Parent/child, siblings, friends, and lovers and self… Relationships may sometimes require work. And it is in these moments that real love shines through. So often, when we say we love, we really mean; I love how you make me feel, or I love what you do for me. This type of love can easily burn out because no one will ever make you FEEL good 100% of the time. Nor will they always DO what you want them to. People are not perfect. We are all flawed individuals. We make mistakes, we say things we don’t mean. We are selfish, unkind, and often rude. But at our core, love does exist. I believe that for the most part, we try our best to love one another. Of course love should feel good. But sometimes it does hurt and it will require sacrifice. Real love is unconditional & sacrificial. It means seeing beyond the perceived hurtful actions, and reactions of others. Real love means giving and not always taking. However, I promise that the more love you give, the more will come back to you. Remember, you must also guard your heart. Everyone deserves love, but not everyone belongs close to you. Knowing the difference will help ensure you live a much healthier and happier life. And all of this begins with the full understanding that God loves you and learning to fully love yourself. Let God fill your ‘well’ with His love and learn to relish it.
For years I punished myself when I made a mistake and even when others hurt me. I saw myself through the eyes of the mistake or perpetrator. This practice caused harm to my soul. I punished myself by not eating, remaining depressed, crying all the time and basically wallowing. I became painfully comfortable in my victimization and guilt. I stayed in a dark state of mind longer than necessary, and as a result, I caused physical anguish to my body. Our bodies were not made to carry stress and anxiety, but to be nurtured and cared for. It starts with you. Have patience with yourself. When you make a mistake, own up to it, apologize to the appropriate parties, and forgive yourself. Guilt and condemnation are fruitless & destructive emotions. When you have been the victim, you still have to forgive, for your sake. Having a well of love in your life means you will often have to dip into that well and draw from its waters. It will be challenging, but love is the only thing that quenches the fires of anger, pain and sadness.
My heart has been broken. Not just from a lover, but from family as well. However, I made the choice to let my broken heart grow back stronger, better, and wiser. I have learned to love from the well that is within me. I am filled with love & I can easily give it. It is not based on anyone’s opinion of me, but on God’s love for me. It is based on the fact that I am breathing, which means I am loved and my life matters. I don’t withhold affection. I don’t withhold my praise or my compliments. I give, simply because, it is authentically who I am. I have often been offended, but I’ve learned to keep on pushing. I will not allow any circumstance, obstacle, person or the devil himself to keep me from loving. I may fail from time to time, but I always do my best to fix what I have possibly broken. Love does not die. Love does not fail.
So in the spirit of Valentine’s Day. Let’s make a choice to really love. First God, ourselves, then each other. Stay lifted. I love you…
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. –1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a