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On this show alone, one of the woman were left at the altar on the day of of her wedding. Some have gone through ugly divorces & still others faced break ups after long engagements. They had to deal with the normal pain and heartache that goes along with this while also having to watch it play out in the media. Though breaking is hard for everyone, I would assume it is an entirely different experience to break up with someone who basically funded your super-lavish lifestyle. I commend these ladies for getting past their heartache & moving forward with their lives, without all of the money/support they were probably accustomed to. (Despite child support, alimony, etc., I am sure money is not the same as it was when they were still with the men). Whatever the case, I commend them for pursuing their dreams and flourishing outside of their association to the husbands/boyfriends. Shaunie, Tami, Jennifer & the other girls have clearly made names for themselves post-breakup. They could have easily given up, but instead chose a path that enriched & expanded them. Tami even started a charity for young girls called Project Girl, that helps to build the self esteem of girls ages 13-18.
We also learn from BBW’s that despite what you’ve been through, you can/will love again. Some of these ladies have moved on with new beaus & seem very happy. I wish this happiness for all women who have been through heartbreak.
2. Forgiveness is Powerful.
We have all fought with people we deeply care about. And it’s never easy to rekindle after negative words have been spoken. Remember this? But, it is possible. Saying I’m sorry and genuinely meaning it and can go a long way. People that genuinely love you will understand that you are human and flawed. They will even accept your crazy behavior every now and then. (But don’t let it become a pattern.) Some (not all) of these women have fought and made up numerous times, and they now seem to get along very well. I think forgiveness is one of the major keys to peace & happiness.
3. Misery & Anger Love Company. Don’t Make Them Your Constant Companions.
We all get angry and miserable at times, but some people stay that way for too long. They may even try & bring you into the vortex with them. Don’t allow it. When people are consistently unhappy, they tend to spread it like venom. It slowly trickles in until you are too sick or weak to move. Too many bunches of people who should be doing extraordinary things have been destroyed by one bad apple. Usually when there is constant bickering, anger, jealousy, back-biting and mean talking, it is because the person is not happy. These negative emotions usually have very little to do with the victim. Sometimes miserable people need to be left alone to stew in their own mess for awhile, so that they can change for the better. And learn to treat people right!
4. Money Doesn’t Equal Happiness or Peace
Lets’ keep it real! Money is wonderful to have. But money will not always lead to happiness. Some of the women on BBW have large bank accounts, but their joy accounts seem empty. Just because you can buy Gucci, Louie, Cavalli and a Ferrari doesn’t mean you will be happy. Temporarily satisfied, perhaps. But certainly not blissfully joyous. Material things won’t fill the major voids in your life. Being fulfilled comes from a cultivating a strong & loving relationship with God, yourself and others.
5. Never Compare Yourself to Anyone Else
Too often women compare themselves to other women. That is not good. It’s wonderful to admire people and emulate their good qualities, but its not wise to want someone else’s life or stuff. You don’t really know the price they paid for where/what they are.
You have unique, amazing, and admirable qualities of your own. Know your strengths and cultivate everything that makes up the excellent and lovely you. You are fabulous!
Everyone has their own individual journey. Though our paths will all be different, hopefully it will all lead to places of peace, joy, happiness, fulfillment and love.
These are my five lessons from Basketball Wives. Care to share yours?