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Most people who really know me understand that I CANNOT stand double-standards. Especially when it comes to gender issues. Growing up in church there was always a big emphasis on women being sexually pure. This included the idea that women should not dress a certain way because you may entice men. My question was always “Shouldn’t a man have control over himself? Why is it a woman’s responsibility ensure that a man is not enticed?” I have always been this way and my view still has not changed.
I personally doubt that God is sitting up in heaven placing all the burden on women to be pure & perfect, yet at the same time excusing men to do whatever they want sexually just because of testosterone or whatever other reasoning folk want to come up with.
So, I wasn’t surprised yet, I was annoyed when I ran across this article today that stated:
Once upon a time, diamond rings weren’t just gifts. They were, frankly, virginity insurance. A now-obsolete law called the “Breach of Promise to Marry” once allowed women to sue men for breaking off an engagement. Back then, there was a high premium on women being virgins when they married — or at least when they got engaged. Surveys from the 1940s show that roughly half of engaged couples reported being intimate before the big day. If the groom-to-be walked out after he and the bride-to-be had sex, that left her in a precarious position. From a social angle, she had been permanently “damaged.” From an economic angle, she had lost her market value. So Breach of Promise to Marry was born.
So if a woman had sexual contact outside of marriage she was considered “permanently damaged”? In that case was the man considered “damaged” as well? I can assure you, probably not. So, the diamond was inherently vagina insurance. Back then women had to marry in order to secure financial stability. Now women have their own careers. They earn more degrees. And, for the younger generation, they out-earn men. A broken engagement isn’t a lasting financial disaster for a woman like it was in those days. And I am glad about it! We can get married simply as a matter of choice. (Just please make the right choice).
And contrary to what you may have been taught, a woman’s best asset IS NOT her vagina (though it is very important & valuable)… A woman’s best asset is her heart, mind, body, spirit and most importantly, her love & ability to give & nurture life (even if not a mother).
If we truly start teaching our young ladies & young men that a woman’s value is in who they are as a WHOLE, as opposed to just their HOLE, we will all be in a much better place. (And certain hip-hop music would probably be obsolete, but that’s another post). And there’s my 85 cents on that.
Yeah I said it…