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Pastor Mike Scruggs* of the Light of Word Ministries in White Oak, Ohio is on a mission to save “marriage” and is preaching series of sermons on marriage called “Battle Of The Sexes”. To illustrate his point he put a neon pink stripper pole, dollar bills, lacy lingerie and high heels to represent what men want. On the opposite end, he had a stage filled candy, roses, teddy bears, and a bottle of wine representing what women want.
We talk about sex. We talk about drugs. We talk about faith. We talk about relationships … , things that people are dealing with on a day-to-day basis.
On one side [we’ll have] what men want or desire: your stripper pole, your video games, your sports. The woman’s side [is] orderly, neat. It’s all about love, candy, teddy bears, roses and being wined and dined and cherished.”
Hmmm ok…. Here is my 35 cents. I love the fact that Pastor Scruggs is on a mission to save marriages, because I believe people have tainted the institution. Marriage is a God idea, however, it has lost much of its sacredness & importance due to many factors (to be discussed in a later post)… Now, I do not believe that a stripper pole and a teddy bear can save anybody’s marriage. What people choose to do in the privacy of their bedrooms is their business. I don’t think the church should even try to dictate that. Besides, grown women don’t want teddy bears…. We prefer baubles… of the diamond persuasion. (smile).
All joking aside, I know marriage can be complicated, but there are some basics. Women want men to be responsible, loving, kind, communicative, loyal & sincere. Women want to feel secure in their relationships. Men want/need respect, admiration, trust, some space to simply be a man, and a nurturer (not a nag). These qualities are the greatest aphrodisiacs. (If you don’t believe me, ask your boo).
Most importantly, marriages are protected first by marrying the RIGHT person, at the RIGHT time, for the RIGHT reasons initially. Do not ignore red flags and/or expect folks to change! Also, self-discipline and a commitment to the solemn vow itself (not just the person) is very important. People will benefit from knowing that the whole of a marriage is greater than the sum of its parts. A shared desire to please & take care of each other (mentally, emotionally, physically, financially & relationally) also make for a strong partnership. How you choose to decorate your marriage/relationship is up to you. You can infuse it with foolishness and ridiculous expectations or, saturate it with love, peace and grace. It is entirely up to you… But a stripper pole in the bedroom? It sure sounds fun, but it will take more than a pole to renovate a dying marriage.
*You can see Pastor Scruggs whole interview here.